Lies are problematic for me. Probably, it's only a few of those who read these posts, who may be in doubt - I am a great supporter of the truth and very aware of - yes, to a certain extent even fascinated by - how there may exist multiple sides to the same matter; Sides, which, with a certain degree of fairness, seen from different angles, can be regarded as true. Yes, maybe even The Truth.
But, actually, I'm having a hard time with lies in a different way. I have problems with the word "lie" itself - because, when someone uses the word "lie", this is much stronger than just saying that someone does not tell the truth. For the truth is subjective. It is conceivable that the person who tells something actually says what she pure-heartedly believes to be true. Even though my perception of truth and reality is inconsistent with hers. Lying, on the other hand, relates to the situation where you have deliberately failed to convey what you find is the truth, or perhaps even put something that you knew was untrue, in the place of truth.
At home, for the same reason, we have always been careful about using phrases like "it's a lie" or "X tells a lie". In several situations we have had the opportunity to emphasize the sensibility of moderating this into "I'm not sure that is a fact" or "I do not agree with X". It may well happen that some will think that this makes their language vague far beyond what's reasonable. But on the other hand, it ends people up in a situation from which conversation is actually possible.
This is because hereby, we open up for other people to have their interpretation of the truth, I'm not at all sure that it will be a truth that agrees with my version. But by acknowledging that my conversation partner does not necessarily have bad intentions just because her version of the truth is not consistent with mine, I fail to dig trenches that might otherwise make all further communication impossible.
(Translated from Noget om mangel på sandhed)
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