On the topic of avoiding unfortunate projections

Most of us know well enough the experience of struggling with personal problems from time to time. In many cases, nothing is easier than to blame other people or other things for the obstacles in one's way. But if a solution to the problems is needed, a little rule may be advantageous to keep in mind. I do not know whether there is a canonical form of it; the version I like to follow is this:

Do not project internal problems onto external circumstances.

It is so easy to give difficult times and other people's absurdities the blame for one's own demons, but it only rarely leads to anything constructive; times are no more favorable, and people no more reasonable, when they are blamed for something you go around struggling with yourself.
This does not mean that you should mess with your problems on your own. Much good can be achieved through the help of good friends in confidence - or, in severe cases, through professional help - but basically one has to resolve one's internal problems oneself, with or without help.
(Translated from Noget om at undgå uheldige projektioner, originally published January 29th, 2013)

On the topic of knowing too much

Back in 2012 I read a news story with great interest. It was the story about how a Swedish chemistry professor had help from his ten-year-old son to solve a complicated problem, which he had worked on for eight years with no luck.
As the professor Sven Hovmöller said about the problem and the son in the article: "Linus’s main contribution was coming at it with an absolutely clear mind, being smart and able to put the puzzle together. I sort of knew too many things and when I tried to do it myself, your brain just gets exhausted by all the different things you keep in your head at the same time. With a fresh, empty brain so to speak, you can do something. When solving problems, it is always good to have someone to discuss it with."
I value the story so highly, because it is so closely related to one of my favorite quotes; in the words of Henry Ford:

I am looking for a lot of men who have an infinite capacity to not know what can not be done.

Because as Hovmöller's example indicates: who knows, how many of the problems of the world we would be able to solve, if we were better at asking those who do not know what cannot be done.
(Translated from Noget om at vide for meget, originally published October 3rd, 2012)

On the topic of questions and answers

Image courtesy of pixabay / qimono

I have in recent years had the pleasure (and just the fact that I call it a pleasure, shows how far I have moved me in recent decades) to scratch the surface of the subject of psychology a bit. And in this context, I encountered some of the smartest stuff I've ever had the pleasure to hear. In all its simplicity:

Don't think you know the answer before you have heard the question.

It sounds so simple, because it is so obvious. But try to think about it: How often isn't it that we try to solve the problems of our friends, colleagues, family members and acquaintances, seen from our own point of view? How often isn't it that we try to address such situations based on the approach "I have tried the same myself"? In fact, I am convinced that this kind of situation should rather be addressed using additional, more detailed questions. By allowing the other party to answer the additional questions will probably make the person wiser about his or her own situation and thereby answer the big question on his or her own - and thereby, more is achieved than by oneself trying to deal with something that one does not understand the full extent of.
(Translated from Noget om spørgsmål og svar, originally published October 7th, 2012)