The first casualty

It's said that "The first casualty when war comes is truth" - meaning that when a war breaks out between two parties, it is no longer to be taken for granted that the truth about the war and the things happening in its wake is reported objectively. Unfortunately, this is quite predictable when you consider what war is all about - it is hard to justify that the flower of the nation's youth is about to depart in order to kill the same part of the population of another country, if it is accompanied by elaborate stories underlining that on some points, the opponent is not entirely wrong.
This is bad enough. But what's even worse is how the same tendency can be tracked all the way down to very small situations close to us, far away from the borderless consequences of global politics.
Think it over: how many times haven't you experienced two parties, both of which you value highly, who have come on bad terms with each other? Two parties, who - if you get either of them alone face-to-face - are able to relate such different stories about what has happened and the motives of the parties that you cannot help but think: is it really the same basic train of events that is the basis of both of these stories?
And here, it is quite okay to be puzzled. We might not be able to make a difference when nations fall out and beat the drums of war - but on a personal level, where "only" personal interests are basically at stake - shouldn't we become a bit better to use nuances in our expressions? to see the world from the opponent's point of view? To walk a mile in the other party's shoes, so to speak (without falling prey to Jack Handey's ironic statement)?
Of course there are people who have gone so far without thinking like this, that they end up in a situation from which it is difficult to return. But most of us would do ourselves - and other people - a favour, if we were able to accept that the world is not solely black and white. If we became better at understanding matters seen from the side, from which we do not normally see them. And if we were able to have a rational conversation about our differences, with respect for the opponent's reality.
As I read it the other day: "Sometimes, the best we can do is to admit that our opponent has a point."
(Translated from Det første offer, originally published January 21, 2018)

On the topic of common courtesy

The other day, in a discussion about politeness, I was lead to say something, which initially made me happy, but ended up frightening me.
It began with the finding that even though all people seem to have less time these days, this is no excuse for rude behaviour - hereafter, the recognition that because common courtesy does not cost any money and does not take much extra time - well, there is no reason why not all people are polite. All in all quite well. Thus the happiness.
But then I came to think: since there are actually rude people who do not observe common courtesy, there can only be one of two scary reasons for it: either they are not brought up to treat other people with kindness, or they actively make a choice to be rude.
I do not know which one is most scary. But I know that if you are treated politely and with kindness, it tends to rub off. So, hereby a call to all of us to exhibit kindness and common courtesy towards other people at all times.
Not to say that we can not disagree. But let's do it respectfully.
(Translated from Noget om almindelig høflighed)

Life's too short for people like me

At one point I attended an event on creativity, where one of the conclusions was - albeit phrased somewhat differently - as stated in the heading.
The reason is simply that you do not get inspired by people who say the same as yourself - mostly people who have the same background as you or in some way resemble you. Inspiration comes from people who are different than you are.
People who agree with you in everything, who are in the same point in life as yourself, are not able inspire you; you can use them to pat yourself on the shoulder, and although that itself may be very nice, it's not what moves the world forward.
What moves the world forward is people to disagree with, or to discuss with, whether or not it originates in constructive criticism or an curious question as to why you behave the way you do.
Even in the company of the people you agree with, you should look at the differences between you and them and examine them.
Because it is thereby you are going to consider whether your attitudes are rational, and to be inspired to do new and exciting things.
(Translated from Livet er for kort til folk som mig, originally published December 27th, 2011)