I was disappointed by a family friend the other day. Not one of the closest of family friends, but after all, someone who has been part of the family network for just over ten years, which still amounts to something, eventhough I have friends that I've known well for more than the double amount of time.
The way, in which I was disappointed was that the friend was in a situation where daily life was a little difficult to grasp, and I could easily have been able to contribute, if only she had reached out and asked. And when later I discovered that there had been a stressful situation where I could have made my little contribution to make a difference, but did not notice it because I was not asked - well, then I could not avoid being slightly disappointed. For why did she not as the most natural thing in the world consider that I could as easily have done such a small thing?
I think this is one of the situations where we can do ourselves and others a favour: if we are able to understand our friends and acquaintances to such an extent that we know when they would be happy to be asked for help. Some of the things for which we need help are so insignificant - or we might actually find these things so fun to do - that we do not need to know each other particularly well to ask.
So basically: when in need, consider asking your friends and acquaintances whether they would be able to help. There are actually people out there who will rather say "I'm in it for you!" than "What's in it for me?"
(Translated from Når venner skuffer, originally published April 24, 2016)
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